Yesterday I sat down for tea with a friend. She lost her husband this past year and picked up and moved to Santa Fe from New York. For an hour she discussed her beloved and how he cared and loved everyone, took care of all the details and nourished their family. I was a bit stunned to hear of a woman so openly giving over to her husband - trusting him implicitly. Once they were returning from a trip and the pilot of the plane recommended that the passengers take care and get into a crash landing position. After they landed safely the man next to her rose and asked her, “you look so calm”, her response - “my husband told me that everything would be fine”. She knew that she could believe every word he spoke. The integrity and care of her husband must have been infinite and makes me think back to my grandfather. My grandmother always told me to marry a man like my grandfather. Unfortunately I didn’t but maybe I will have another chance. He took care of my grandmother much like my friend’s husband did. I don’t know if I will ever be able to relinquish so much control and trust so fully but I am thinking more about how a loved on can honestly, genuinely care for you and want that person to be happy. I am so grateful for the many teachings I receive each week and for friends who share so openly with me.

It’s moving to me to meet an artist, a young artist, who is willing to sacrifice so many creature comforts to strive to be an artist and work wholly as a creator. Today I had the pleasure to attend the Feminists under Forty show in Belen at Through the Flower. All women artists, under forty who identify as feminists.

The show was thoughtful and quite eccentric but the artists are what impressed me. Shy women - really shy women - who are obviously uncomfortable navigating the art world but who have a passion for their work. I met one woman tonight who this show was her first show out of school. I don’t remember that experience for myself - I really don’t. I was so certain as to what I do that I did do it and expect for people to see it - in a gallery, museum, whatever. One of my first showings was at a museum now that I think of it. Along side of Agnes Martin…

These women that I met today are committed, are starving and fighting for their existence to be artists. It is uplifting and heartbreaking to see these women strive to be themselves. One woman could not stand my gaze - that I could see her. This show did empower a group of women and what a success that is.

I am so grateful for what I do, that I can do it and that I do it. I am so lucky to have a second job, as a graphic designer to pay the bills but that is creative and challenging. And I am even luckier to have the clients I do have and the opportunities that do arrive. And for some bizarre reason Judy Chicago respects me. If someone had asked me four years ago where I would be today I would not have said making sculpture, doing graphic design and working with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.

Damn, I am really grateful for what is today - what is my life at this moment.